


Down Time

by HattedPenguin420



Category: Castlevania (Cartoon), Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Static Shock
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Casual, Character Study, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Drabble Collection, Memes, more tags and characters later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-19 06:48:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29870790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HattedPenguin420/pseuds/HattedPenguin420
Summary: Based on ReadmePlz’s “Lord of the Castle” Fic which is recommended that you read before this, but not necessary. In short, Alucard from Castlevania got wrapped up in Justice League business. And the animated Justice League, none of that Zack Snyder shit. Me and my homies hate Snyder.This is a series of drabbles and shorts that not only contain Alucard, but focuses on other DC characters as well. I am playing fast and loose with canon. The original fic also takes place in 2001 like the cartoon but it is technically ‘modern’ also. So it’s weird, just go with it.
Kudos: 1





	Down Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Lord of the Castle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13896978) by [ReadmePlz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReadmePlz/pseuds/ReadmePlz). 



How it basically went down with Batman meeting Alucard:

Batman: Don’t ever step foot in Gotham or I will harness the power of the goddamn Sun to smite your ass. I don’t care how many Sunny Ds I need in order for it to work, I will do it in a fucking heart beat, you Twilight bitch.

Alucard: I have no idea what you just said, but ok that’s fair. 

  
  


\--------------------------

There is a swear jar in the watchtower. More specifically, the counter in the recreation room.

It was Superman’s idea, obviously. The boy scout thought that all the swearing was unprofessional and unbecoming, especially when they’re models for  _ children _ . The occasional ‘damn it’ was fine, but the F word was $10 in the empty strawberry jelly jar. So ‘Sam Hill’s and ‘Oh Hera’s took up a majority of the team’s naughty words.

It wasn’t that big of a deal. Most of them didn’t swear that much in the first place. The biggest perpetrator was actually Hawkgirl. She found that she couldn’t quite express herself in  Thanagarian to the team at first, then she learned about English swears through her studies of Earth culture and had been swearing like a sailor. 

Superman was the most dumbstruck out of all of them at this development. He was the only one that didn’t find the butchering of the art of swearing correctly funny.

That’s right, she wasn’t even swearing right. 

“Ass fuck mother you, bitch” “Eat my fuck, shit bastard.” And other strange combinations confused more than insulted the people she was hurling them to. Eventually, she had to be sat down and have a thorough conversation with Superman and the rest of the League as it was becoming increasingly distracting.

The second worst swearer was Flash. He does say ‘fuck’ but more as a reactionary instinct and he doesn’t do it infront of kids. Still, most of the bills in the jar are from his tiny wallet he keeps in the one pocket in his suit.

J’onn said ‘fuck’ one time. He didn’t put money in the jar because he was given a free pass, much to Flash’s dismay. The Martian only said it when asking “What is ‘fuck’” in such a confused tone. Flash kept insisting he technically swore so he should put money in the swear jar, but no one was on his side.

Superman legally cannot say ‘fuck’.

\-------------------

Alucard: You’re very nice, I don’t understand why people keep calling you ‘dick’.

Nightwing: (◑_◑)

\----------------------

Fun Fact: in the comics, Martian Manhunter aka J’onn J’onzz became addicted to the DCU’s version of Oreos: ‘Chocos’ and not like omg i’m a chocoholic or casual alcoholism. I mean full on crack cocaine addiction that physically manifested itself and went on a rampage when he went cold turkey on the stuff. He’s no longer addicted since the cells that were addicted were purged, but holy shit, Chocos should be banned in the WatchTower just in case.

\------------------------

I guess since everything is shifted timewise so that it’s 2001 canonically but also modern, teens would be gen z. Robin (Tim Drake), Static Shock and his friend Gear, and maybe even Mr. Terrific would do that teens do now. They probably make fun of people on Twitter, Tim definitely does. “Yeet” is said often when throwing projectiles.

Flash would be the most ‘hip’ sorta, I see him being the youngest in the team. Oh god, he’d teach the non humans slang. 

\------------------------

If Alucard ever went public, there would be so many thirst trap edits of him. The Internet would have a field day. Like those fan cams of k-pop idols but worse cuz he doesn’t show up on camera well. He hates the attention so much. 

\----------------------

Lois, holding up a recording device: Hi I’m Lois Lane with the Daily Planet, would you care to answer a few questions?

Alucard, leaning into the mic: No *Floats away*

\--------------------

Flash has golden retriever himbo energy, lesbians love him, sorta like how people irl are like with Thor. And he loves lesbians, not in a weird way. But to give him a reason, I’ll steal from Technoblade.

Green Lantern: a surprising amount of women here like you. I thought you’d be hitting on them and be your usual, flirty self. Instead you’re treating them like normal fans.

Flash: Well, yeah. We’re outside a lesbian bar, they’re lesbians. 

Green Lantern: Why do you know what a lesbian bar looks like?

Flash: I like lesbians.

Green Lantern:  _ Why  _ do you like lesbains? 

Flash: Well, you see, back in highschool when I didn’t have self esteem, a lesbian said I was ‘actually pretty funny’ and my ego has been coasting on that ever since. So they’re pretty great. Basically I’d do anything for them.

Green Lantern: huh. But you didn’t think an island full of women were lesbians?   
  
Flash: Hey, none of them said they were so I took a chance. 

\-----------------

EVERY TIME 

The Question: I’ve connected the dots

Green Arrow: You didn’t connect shit

The Question: I’ve  _ connected them. _


End file.
